14 Days In No-Internet Hell

Remembering the good old days when 4G was the latest “high-speed internet” and websites were designed to load quickly.

There I was, in the heart of South Central Chile, end of August, living a simple, common life of internet addiction - until the storms hit. First, the power flickered out. Then, the internet followed suit, leaving me in a dark, disconnected void.

Boom.

Welcome to No-Internet Hell, where you’re left remembering the good ol’ days of 4G when it felt like the future was at your fingertips, hoping that a drop of that will magically trickle down to you. Well, at least when we weren’t stuck on 3G... 

Two weeks without a connection. And when there was a connection, it was - gasp - 3G. (Not 3 gbps fiber optic. I’m talking about the “mobile” 3G). Before the almighty internet returned to bless us with its presence, I had a lot of time to reflect—mostly on how much I missed reading articles about terrible internet speeds. Who knew those words would become my life?

The “Good Old” 4G Days

Remember when 4G was the best thing since sliced bread? We all thought it was the beginning of a new era. But here’s the kicker: most of the time, you were stuck on 3G because 4G coverage was spotty at best. Back then, even 3G felt like a miracle compared to the dreaded 0G, where your phone became an expensive paperweight. But when 4G actually worked, oh, how fast it was. Websites loaded before you could blink (we didn’t blink much, back in my day). It was quick enough that you didn’t have time to think about how much they sucked (now we just don’t think; that’s what AI is for!).

Of course, that was back when websites weren’t bogged down with gigabytes of data-hogging nonsense. Remembering this fine piece of literature, Your Internet Speed and That of Your Website’s Visitor Probably Sucks, we’ve made things worse by designing websites that only load quickly if you’ve got NASA-level bandwidth. These days, if you’re stuck on 4G - or heaven forbid, 3G - you might as well go make a sandwich while the page loads. And watch the paint on the walls dry. Wherever it needs drying.

Talking With Myself - Or Not (Who Are These People?)

After a few days without the internet, I did what any sane person would do: restarted the router. When that didn’t work (shocking, I know), I moved on to the next best thing—restarting it again. Maybe it would come back! (It didn’t.) So, left with no other option, I actually talked to the people around me. I know, terrifying. It’s not that I dislike conversation, but after so long with the internet, I completely forgot why those other people shared the same space that I did. :)

I also discovered something fascinating: card games and board games still exist. Yes, those relics from a pre-digital age. They’re not as fun as YouTube or Instagram, but at least no one has to worry about buffering. After a few rounds of carioca, I was ready to crawl back to the 4G days, even if it meant living with the constant cycle of switching to 3G mid-download.

14 Days at the End of the World

Productivity without the internet? It’s a joke. Sure, at first you think, “I’ll finally get some offline work done.” Spoiler: no, you won’t. You’ll realize how deeply you depend on Google for even the most basic tasks, like remembering how long it takes to cook rice. Remember the pre-historic days when we went to the bathroom with a book, and not a phone? (a phone doesn't serve the same dual-purpose that a good ol' paper book can in an emergency)

Even trying to remember what life was like before we were all glued to the life line that is WiFi feels like a stretch. And yet, ironically, my article on why internet speeds suck kept bouncing around my head. Turns out I had firsthand experience now of how bad a slow (or non-existent) connection really is.

A Dear Friend Returns

After an eternity (or so it seemed), the internet came back. My router lit up like a Christmas tree, and I was back online. But the victory was bittersweet. There’s no immediate rush to watch all the Netflix I missed or binge-read Medium articles. Instead, I started reflecting on how we got here—how we built a digital world so bloated with content that even 4G can feel sluggish now (or, at least, that’s what I would like you to think. In reality, it was a frantic rush to make 2 weeks of backlogged projects go away).

It’s funny, isn’t it? We used to get by with simpler, faster websites. Now we need insane speeds just to keep up with the junk we’ve crammed into them. So if you’re out there still dealing with terrible load times and sluggish sites, I feel for ya. But don’t worry - you’re not missing anything other than crap being pushed and loaded faster and faster.

Photo Used: pixabay.com